I’m Done With the I’ll-Be-Happy-When-Syndrome
How I’m planning to reach my goals sustainably
ately, I’ve been feeling like the weeks run by. I’m reaching my goals, but never enjoy the plateau before reaching for the next.
They say as a grown-up, time passes faster. I believe that is because the more we move away from childhood, the more we move away from living in the moment.
They say as a grown-up, time passes faster.
Think about it — as a child you play with your toys, you look at everything so closely. You witness your surroundings. You’re in the moment.
As an adult, especially if you consider yourself an ambitious person, it is easily done, to focus only on the next thing. And at the same time never be satisfied, or never even notice how far you’ve come already.
I think having certain goals and putting in the steps to reach them can be very liberating. But it can become unrewarding when you don’t take any time to enjoy the already accomplished.
A very common thing is that the finish line moves further away, the closer we get to it. It’s almost like a dangling carrot in front of a donkey.
And that is totally fine for the person who likes to run after something new constantly. Some people thrive on that. Although I do question the sustainability of that lifestyle.
So many times, months have gone by and when I look back at them later, I think “I really felt a lot of pressure during that time and I wasn’t enjoying life as I could have.”
So I have realized that the I’ll-be-happy-when-syndrome will not give me what I want from life. It has left me with my life going 100 miles per hour, neither being able to enjoy the big nor the small moments.
I want to look back and think to myself “That was a happy time.”
Other examples of the I’ll-be-happy-when-syndrome:
When I’ve reached a passive income of X I’ll be happy.
When I have found the one I’ll be happy.
When my coaching business is up and running I’ll be happy.
When I start traveling I’ll be happy.
When I’ve got more energy I’ll be happy.
And so many more.
And again, from my past experience the goals just become bigger, the moment they have been reached. Or new ones are being added, leaving us still not fully content.
I don’t believe anything is wrong with setting goals. I love goals and future plans.
But I trust they can all be approached, whilst feeling happy and appreciative for the way life is already. In fact, I think the appreciation for the already accomplished gives us the energy needed to move forward.
So if the new goal is to be able to look back and think (or say out loud) “That was a happy time.”, how can I get there?
This is my strategy:
Once a month I take 5 minutes to write down (or say out loud) everything that I’ve accomplished lately. I take a good look at my list and just feel the joy and contentment that comes up. (I discovered this method thanks to Megan Llorente)
I ask myself daily “What can I do today that is in my power to make this a good day?”
Especially strategy number 2 is such a game changer for me because it helps me make every day enjoyable. At the same time, it helps me to simply put my attention to the happy parts of my life and practice gratitude.
As an example, the way I make today a good one is to spend time in nature.
Hello, I’m Nora. I write about self-development, relationships, and other human topics. If you like my writing and would like to be updated about new articles, feel free to support me here!
